Family...what are these ties made of?

Yesterday was Rakshabandhan. My brothers got their rakhis from me. Usual camaraderie and joking...shared history has a power that connects you despite the different personalities and the routes our lives have taken.

Then I thought of the people who became my brothers on the way. This usually happens in your growing up years...since mine were the college years, my brothers came along then.

I have not met them in years. I met Deepu, maybe 3 years ago. But now Facebook has snapped the distance between India and the US, and I am quite clued in on some stuff in his life. That his wife is a friend, also helps. This year I have managed to get his number...so I SMSed him. And in true Deepu style, SMSed back that the gift would be pending!

Shylesh...I have had the chance to meet him a few times in the last couple of years. Same silences, same connect, same power to move with absolutely nothing. How does that happen? I SMSed him this year... And what should I expect? Silence. Yeah.

JK...had lost him to time for a while. He somehow found my number and called about 5 years ago. A call or two in between. Then lost him again. But heard of him from friends, every few months. His father passed away...I thought of calling him. Like I did with Shibu, when his dad passed away...I would only end up crying...would that help?

Yesterday, got his number from a friend. SMSed him. And what a response! All the time and distance in between got wiped out.

We have never sat and chatted for hours ever. Then how come such a bond exists? What is it made of?

Richard Bach says, "Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. " Would that answer my question?

Thanks, MJ! Go in peace!

It was a horribly hot day, the day Michael Jackson died. Yet there was a little shiver that ran through me when I heard. There was a sudden dullness, and of course disbelief. I have always thought that this day would be a hell of a day for the world. And yes, that’s what it was. Twitter crashed, and Google ran into trouble as the world mourned.

Michael Jackson was not my favorite singer, not ever. But if he was on TV, we had to watch. It was the time teenagers like us were waking up to English pop on TV, and our parents getting shocked at the antics of some of the artists, undecided if they really should let their kids watch all that! But if there was one artist who could shut them up, it was Michael Jackson. My typical housewifey mom knew ‘Beat it’! And my father expressed his amazement at the way Jackson danced. They could identify Michael Jackson from the hoard of posters plastered in my brothers’ room, or the pictures in pop magazines. My elder brother learnt how to breakdance, and his pre-teen daughters today can throw a wave or too. My nephew can do a lot more than just a wave.

So when I heard that MJ was dead, I called up my mother. She was shocked too.

That kind of power is a bit hard to come by. MJ is part of our growing up years. We could hardly ever tell what he was singing, and ended up buying lyric books and wearing out the rewind button on the music player in an effort to learn. But his videos were what all of us were magnetized with. And the lyrics and music were secondary.

While I can remember lyrics of many songs by various artists now, I still do not know too many of MJ’s songs. We are the World, Heal the World and Will you be there? are probably the only ones I know. And the refrains of some of his most popular songs. No, he was not my favorite singer ever.

He did not have an easy life; no one in his shoes could possibly have had. And he went berserk with it all…one could say. But in his framework, it was probably the best he knew, or wanted to be.

And as I listened to the RJ play his songs last evening, I realized that people who have success very early on in life have to find new ways to supercede that success. And often they come up with things that are bigger than before, but sometimes they just go, well, offtrack.

While I celebrate my little successes everyday and stay happy within them, MJ seems to be saying that maybe there is a better way than this. Think a little different…he is saying.

MJ, if you’re coming back, I hope you will have it far easier than before, and that you will do far better. Meanwhile, thanks for being an incredible part of my life.

Is it me, or is it the industry?

I am coming across incompetence more and more now. Couple that with being unprofessional and irresponsible beahvior, and you are looking at a wall made of RCC. A case in point is a 100-people software development company in Noida. There are hundreds like them, dotting Noida and Gurgaon these days. But how did we manage to pick this company that blames everything on the client (the end customer, not me--I don't even count)? A project meant to be done in 12 days, takes five months to complete (and as I write, it still isn't!). In effect, I and another team person have had a harrowing time, these past few months.

The boss of the place takes no interest in what his people do. He is only bothered about how many new changes have been asked for and how much more can he quote. Never mind that the changes are errors and idiotic things created by his own team. He never takes calls. So there's nowhere to go if you want to escalate issues. When you write, he will tell his goons to reply. He has no time to spare and work on customer service. Not a second. If he did, we would close this project in half the time (yes, my client is not all haloed either, and keeps making changes as if all her changes are legitimate and should not cost a penny!)

The guy I coordinate with is amazing at writing mails that go round and round over multiple scrolls, so that he never gets blamed. This we figured was nothing but 'special effects' targeted at his boss! Who falls for it, btw. So effective special effects, I must say.

If he goes on leave, there is no one in this 100-people company to fill in...so project stalls. And if you throw a tantrum the next time he says he is going on leave and force the bosses to have someone else take charge, you get full guarantees on a replacement. But no such thing happens, of course.

"I will do as you say, I can't figure anything else out, can I!" The number of times one hears this in a regular day of work with him is mind boggling. I can hear myself yell inside: "No, how can you? You are but a software developer...that little pillar on which the entire bloody IT industry stands! How can I expect you to use your brains?" I can amost hear him retort: "Brain, what's that? Oh, that thing I left at home today?!"

Yes, exasperating. It's a wonder I have not developed hypertension. Or have I!

Can this be the state of our software development industry? Would there be many many more companies as this one? The IT industry proudly talks of innovation, quick turnaround times, and succcesful projects. Innovation? Can I see the end of this project, with the software in some basic working condition...I am reduced to this, innovation be damned! TAT...the less said the better! And successful...if at all there is some success, I think it's because of the two of us. We managed to climb uphill everyday, despite being pushed back every minute. That we are still sane, to me, is a huge success.

The Books in Your Life

Is there a pattern to the kind of books that matter to us? Different authors, very different styles of writing, different genres...but the core thought is the same. There is a pattern.

Would you say Ayn Rand and Tom Peters are alike? I used to read Rand years back. And if there's one thought from her that is left with me today, it is about being supremely competent at your work. And Peters makes me want to go far beyond competence.

Gary Zukav, Richard Bach and Brian Weiss...same story. One now tends to spirituality, one weaves fantastic imagery about alternate lives, and one talks directly about hypnosis and past life regressions. But the central thought is the same.

Okay, I am probably also sifting it down so that it all makes sense to me. But that's not all, I am sure. There is a pattern.

All Abuzz Inside

Life changes so swiftly and rapidly, and we learn to take it in our stride.
The baby's coming, nappies, sleeplessness...
The 'flying all over the country' executive confined to being a stay-at-home mommy...
Sudden death of a much loved one, and the consequent whirlpools that give life a sound thrashing...
The grappling with the mundaneness of life, the tastelessness of food, the grieving days...
A friend's passion to start something new...stokes my fire too...and soon we are soaring...
Pressures...cashflows...the hirings and firings...the long commutes...
The li'l ones' school...the tasteless food...the occasional fiery chaat...

Life just happens, and I flow with it.

But I know, I have to stop and take a breath that's different from it all. And that fresh breath is always...Bangalore!

Sudden decision to go, and soon we are on the flight. The five days rush by. Many things are new...the kids, the lounges, resorts, the new flavors of vodka. But the feeling is the same. Nine of us back together. We talk about nothing, yet we stay bonded. We don't solve problems...yet the magic stays intact. The stupid jokes, the wisecracks, the love...stays just the same.

Now I am back to my life, light years from Bangalore. But my mind is abuzz with the thoughts. Till a few days ago, my mind was filled up with work, family, vegetables, washing...For the past two days that I have been here, it's abuzz with my family of friends. And it's a fresh lease of life.

The Amazing Branch Manager at United Bank of India

In India, ever since the private banks came in with their swanky interiors, scores of ATMs and helpful (or so they think) representatives, a lot of us have been led to believe that, this is the way to bank. Public sector banks are looked down upon--and why not, ATM cards of many still have to be collected personally from the banks, online banking takes ages to process and then when you try to work it, it often does not.

So we didn't want to waste our time, when we decided to open a current account with India's darling private bank ICICI Bank. But what followed was three months of pure hell, to get the account opened, get our online banking working. The branch services manager is not too effective, the bank manager a tobacco chewing moron. Suffice to say, that despite all that automation that sets these banks apart initially, it is just too diffucult to work the processes. And if we hadn't mailed the overall head of customer care, things wouldn't have rolled for us.

Recently we decided to open an account in a public sector bank. We scouted around and decide on United Bank of India, because they gave us the best interest rates on products we wanted. Yes, we did not go with SBI, Central Bank or Corporation Bank. We opted for the lesser known United Bank. We decided that we were willing to give up some of the luxuries that comes with private banks--ATMs at every corner, execs coming home for setting up the account, and handling KYC, etc. We went one day armed with all the documents needed for the opening, and we were prepared to visit the bank a couple of more times so that our account would be up and about. But half an hour later, we walked out with our account number in hand!

It was chaotic at the bank. With the bank manager seemingly losing her temper with people and shuffling through piles of paper to find the piece of paper she had stashed away. But two visits later, we have revised our opinion. Here is a manager who knows her job. And more importantly she knows her customers! And it is not that she knows a few. She seems to know every one and what they want, and what stage their request is in. And she does not have to look up a computer screen or a ledger. One minute she is telling you and what further action is needed, and the next she is updating the person who has just walked in to enquire about his loan/FD/anything else!

She must be a memory whiz, that she can store so much. One could argue, that her bank does not have half the number of customers that say, the nearby ICICI Bank might have. But as a customer, I don't care. She knows me, and she knows what status the account is in. And she is not spending ages looking it up somewhere. That's what a customer wants. Not a bank exec who asks you for your customer id, enter your PIN, or what was the request, every time you approach them--either personally or through that horrifying thing called IVR.

The bank many not have 'core banking' yet. But it will soon have it. The bank may take ages to get its online banking act together. But if I need to know the account status, I can call Mrs Basu and ask. And she will update me in less than a minute. How many minutes do you spend with the IVR?

Mrs Sunanda Basu, you are nothing short of amazing. We wish our banking industry gets many more of you. So that every citizen can have the same level of great customer experience that Knowiz has had with you. We wish you the very best.

Thanks, Mr Bach

"Every turn you fear is just empty air dressed to look like jagged hell." So Richard Bach says in his many beautiful dream-like books.

And yes, Mr Bach it's true! But I bet I will never get over the fear of public speaking! Do I hear you say: 'Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they are yours!' ? Okay, some limitations I like to keep, for now at any rate!

Thanks for all your books. I haven't read them all, but enough to get going in life. A huge part of what I am today is because of what you have written. And I love the way you write. I am supposed to be a writer, or some such thingy--which is why I am here ablogging. So I thought, this is the best way to start--thanks, Mr Bach.